And If I'm Still...

 

Learning to be intentional with my time and my energy... a lesson that I thought I had mastered. Thought being the keyword.

 

It has been forever since I last posted, April 17, 2015 to be exact. I have a bajillion topics, pictures, unfinished projects laying around to prove that I have been thinking about writing.

 

I just haven't.

 

Why? I'll tell you why. And why it can be a little, actually a lot, uncomfortable.

 

My little business has been cruising along at a comfortable pace. But then uneasiness creeps in {especially thanks to social media}. It's the tale as old as time, you're minding your own business, feeling good about your life and then you pause to take a look around...

 

And there it is. The gobs of people shouting from the roof top about how wonderful their life is because they got that huge promotion/new house/new workspace/picked up by a huge brand/insert your own good news here...

 

And you're in the same space and you're suddenly feeling like your dreams, your desires, your talents are falling on deaf ears. That maybe this is as good as it's ever going to get for you...insert the feeling of defeat. The wondering if this is where you throw in the towel.

 

When I can remember, I have been listening to a fantastic series that the uber talented, Jeanne Oliver has on her creative classes page, Listening Finding the Quiet. {It's a free series, but you will need to set up a free account with her network to access it.}

 



 

The world can be so loud and we desperately need quiet. We need time to think, process, pray, worship, plan, dream, forgive, heal and find direction.  To just be still.   Do we give ourselves this time to be quiet and truly listen to the voice of the Lord?  Are you striving and trying to navigate life in your own strength? Are you tired?  Do you know that the Lord pursues you?  Do you know that he wants to carry your burdens? Do you know that he deeply longs to communicate with you and have a relationship with you?  Are you ready to find the quiet and listen to his voice?

 

The description above is exactly what you get. 20 amazing people talking about that moment in their life that they asked, "Is this where I am supposed to be? Am I doing what I should be doing?"

 

I asked myself one day if I would even know how to listen for an answer. I also thought what an amazing experience it would be to ask and get an answer as clear as some of these people were getting.

 

For several months I would half heartedly ask, especially when business would slow down and I would start my cycle of worrying and trying to fix everything. Business would pick up and I would think of how easy that was.

 

A few months later I felt like everything had stalled. Business seemed off. My fitness journey felt like it was going no where. And everyone online seemed to be thriving. Every post seemed to start with "Fantastic News!!" and "I'm so excited to announce..." and I'm just over here like blah.

 

After spending a week or two convincing myself it was just a slow period, everything is totally going to be okay, something big is coming and my usual pep talks, I was frustrated. Defeated. Thinking I had reached the end of this dream and I needed to put an exit plan in place, even though my husband was encouraging me to keep going. It had been a solid 3 weeks since an order had been placed. Even longer than that since I had felt truly inspired to sit down and create something that felt good.

 

My husband was out of town for work and I sat one night as I was getting ready for bed and asked {very clumsily}, "What am I supposed to be doing? Have I given enough? Am I using my talents the way you have always intended me to? IS THIS WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE?" There were tears and I kept playing this lyric over and over in my head.



 

The one thing I never expected the next day was peace. A peace that told me I was exactly where I was intended to be, just be patient and listen. Which can be the hardest part, because the answers don't always come fast, they come when needed and they are not always the clearest answers.

Like the pull of Facebook constantly showing an ad preview for your business page and the only part your eyes see is the "occasional blogger" part you just added to your profile.

The feeling to share your worries and frustrations on your personal Facebook page and that you truly know deep in your heart that better things are coming.

When your email is filled with previews of blog posts and podcasts of people sharing their stories of how they learned to stop and listen. And most importantly, trust the plan that has been written for their life by someone that is so much bigger than them. And encouraging others to share their stories with their followers.

Share. Share. Share.

Hint taken. And I knew exactly what words to share first.

I want to inspire. I want to make things that make people feel good. I want my girls, my family, anyone to look at my journey and know that I'm not using my talents, my God given talents, for fame and fortune. That my story is inspiring someone to listen and to take a chance with that wish that has been written on their heart.

I know this could have easily gone the other way. Instead of confirming that I need to continue on this path, He could have easily said no and pointed in a different direction. I think the peace that comes with asking with an open heart and then patiently listening would have made that an easy path to follow also.

Truth be told, this path is terrifying for me. I like to share the happy moments, the happy, sunshine unicorns and rainbow moments. I have always felt that sharing the insecure, doubtful moments equal me whining. But these are also the inspiring moments. The moments where if your story helps one person realize their dream or confirm that they are not alone with their feelings, you are on the right path.

And now my path is leading me to get these bajillion projects and ideas done. ;)

Fixer Upper and Chapel Rd.

If you follow any blogs about home décor, chances are you have heard at least one of them talking about HGTV's new show, Fixer Upper. I decided to see what the fuss is about and I am hooked. I spent a whole day, while working, watching any episodes that were On Demand with Time Warner. The best part? The show is filmed in Waco, Texas which is an hour north of where I live. (My friend Kristi from I Should Be Mopping The Floor and I may or may not be planning on how to stalk meet Chip and JoJo.)

Why is this the best part? Because so many shows that I fall in love with for inspiration, for my own house, always seem to be on the other side of the country. I have come to believe that the New England/East Coast area and the Oregon/Washington area have the most fabulous areas to junk in and that it is hopeless to decorate my home the way I want, within the budget I have. To see a show that is filmed an hour away with the style I would love to have in my own home, that gets the creative wheels spinning.

And did they start spinning.

A while back I bought an old street sign that caught my attention.

It wasn't as old as I would have liked it, so I took a sander to it, roughed it up and then lost all inspiration and it sat in a closet.

After my Fixer Upper marathon I decided to pull it out and dig through my scrap pile. After I found the perfect piece I decided to give this stain color a second chance.

I want to love this shade, I really do, but it has too much red in it for my liking. I let it dry a bit and then started sanding it down some.

One of my favorite things to do with stain is to layer it to either get a custom color or make it look like an older piece that has been handed down. Before the first coat dried completely, I added a coat of a new shade called Weathered Oak, hoping that it would make it look like I had found the wood out in a field.

Nope. I think every bit I put on rubbed right off after letting it sit for 5 minutes. I knew I had to break out Old Faithful...

Dark Walnut. I don't know how many shades I have tried and I always go back to Dark Walnut.

Now I have the shade I want and layering it over the Gunstock gives it some of the depth I was looking for. I even used the stain left over on the rag on the street sign to give it an older feel.

My original plan was to screw the sign directly to the wood, but when I laid it down on the wood I decided I didn't want to lose the rippled shape it had developed over time. I dug through my husband's collection of hardware (I hoard wood, he hoards screws and building hardware...it's a match made in heaven) and found these black plastic pieces that were the perfect height for how high I wanted the sign to sit off of the wood.

Now if the sign was made out of wood I would have used regular screws. Since the sign is metal I had two options, drill a hole for the screw or use these...

Self drilling, or self tapping, metal screws. The funny tip on the end basically drills a hole as you are screwing it in. They are made especially for when you are working with metal and are a lifesaver, especially if you don't have a set of metal drill bits on hand (or you can't remember which set of your husband's is for metal.)

I first drilled the screws in to each end of the sign and then placed the black riser under each screw and attached it to the wood backing.

It's hanging right by our French doors that will at sometime lead out to a covered patio and deck. My plan is to make a collection of signs, as well as some unusual antique finds, to hang on the wall. I'm also working on a fun coffee bar/patio drink server idea to put underneath!

A Paint Wish

I.Love.Paint. There, I said it. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram then this is no surprise to you. I work with paint everyday. My one wish? That there were places in my immediate area that carry specialty paints, like chalk paint or milk paint, or even the paint that comes in ridiculously cute mason jars {what is it with mason jar packaging that we go crazy for?!}

This leads to my second wish...

I wish I could carry a paint line. For real. Like sell the paint in my booth. Have fun little classes teaching people how to paint their furniture. To go to fun classes and workshops to drool over learn from other painters. This is where my happy place is, painting and distressing.

Clearly my second wish would fulfill my first wish. I have begun researching paint lines that are looking for retailers I've realized that it's overwhelming. The upfront costs, the quality of the paint, is this the type of paint people in my area are looking for?

This is where I turn to you for help. What paint do you wish was available locally? What paint have you tried and loved/hated? Send them all to me, the big lines, the small and struggling line, even the line that you may be mixing in your kitchen right now! Meanwhile, I'll be here collecting every penny I find for my wish jar.

It All Started With A Pillow...

One store I will never pass up a trip to is Pottery Barn, even if their prices are a little out of my comfort zone. Actually, there are quite a few on that list, but Pottery Barn is the one that I can leave feeling inspired and not silently crying on the inside {I'm looking at you Restoration Hardware!}.

A few weeks ago, we took an after Christmas shopping excursion to Austin and my mom swung by Pottery Barn. Browsing through the store I found this pillow on a bed display.

We re-did our bedroom this last year in black and white and I have been adding some red for a pop of color. This pillow would be perfect, but at almost $40 for just the pillow cover, I put it back. I knew I would immediately feel buyer's remorse spending that much on a pillow and...I'm guilty of not making the bed unless we're expecting company. I know, I know. I really should, I always admire the bed when it's made, makes me feel like I'm a grown up or something. Plus, I would freak out every time I saw someone using the $40 pillow.

So this pillow has been sitting in the back of my mind for the last few weeks.

And then it hit me. We have this gigantic wall in our bedroom that I have been wondering what to do with. 

I also have a husband that wishes that I would make more cool signs that actually stay in our home instead of being taken to the shop. So why not take the concept of the pillow and make it in to a sign?! Duh!!

I think my husband was a little stunned that he went to bed last night to me watching tv and woke up to his wife with red paint splattered on the side of her arm and a brand new sign waiting for it's final sanding. I think he was even more shocked when I told him the paint was from a sign I had made for our bedroom.

I love the pop of red. The font makes me smile.

The distressing reminds me of how true love stands up to the test of time.

But best of all...it has given me that vision of what I want to do with the wall. My plan is to take all these quotes and song lyrics about love that have been locked in my head and get them down on wood and up on the wall.